I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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