i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
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