I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
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Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
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I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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