I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Randomize
