I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
People in love make me want to vomit
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Randomize
