No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
Terrible idea I love it
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
