I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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