i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Randomize
