Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
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