yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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