just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
