the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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