I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
Randomize
