You kept trying to hail an ambulance
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize