with your own penis?
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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