Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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