I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
