margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
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