Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
