My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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