the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize