I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
Church boner. Awkwardddd
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
