If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Randomize
