And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
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