is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Randomize
