I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
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