What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
