Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
Randomize
