plz talk dirty to me
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
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