he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
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