Where are you?
In a non slutty way
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Randomize
