I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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