So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Randomize
