ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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