i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
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