You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
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