we're blogging at a bar
Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
