So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
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I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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