that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
