Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Randomize
