I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
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