I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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