I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Randomize
