she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
