Have you finally orgasmed yet?
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
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