I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Randomize
