Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
