Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
