butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
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