question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize
