Someone shit on the floor
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
