I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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