If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
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