He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Randomize
