This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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