Fine. I'll sleep in my office
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Randomize
