Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
