the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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