I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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