Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
