he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
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