you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
you're hired as official boob wrangler
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
